Somewhere, right now, teams of HK engineers are laughing all the way to the bank. There can be only one logical conclusion associated with my concern. It has become apparent to me HK owns stock in copious numbers of insane asylums. There could be no other plausible reason for the complexity within these weapon systems.

The primary conduit among the residents of these facilities you ask? …They are completely inhabited by people who were all at one time happy, vibrant, and otherwise well-adjusted gunsmiths.
Systematic trauma inflicted upon them from years working within the confines of HK product gradually wore them down to little more than eye twitching nubs.

I’m unclear whether it was Edmund Heckler or Theodor Koch, who challenged the other to fit an entire grandfather clockworks into a pistol, but the resulting complexity has diminished many full grown and well-bearded men to their lowest common denominator. I for one, found myself in the fetal position just a few days ago over a VP9 that refused to accept societal norms and come apart…

As is the case with a 3rd nipple, civilization tends to turn away with veiled horror as they gaze upon frayed gunsmiths, tattered and fatigued, from years laboring elbow deep inside HK devices. In cases where many of us are found slobbering like a baby cutting teeth slumped over a once-proud bench vise, social construct is swiftly ushered in. Humanity then locks us away, out of sight, as if we’d never existed.

This is the plight of an HK smith. …And it continues to be my burden. Stay strong my brothers! Resist the temptation to succumb or capitulate to HK’s design for inherent madness. Combat their wicked and repugnant back channel revenue scheme.

In the immortal words of my favorite mid 90s film, “Empire Records” – Damn the man! Save the Empire!

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